My rights, Her rights, His rights . What about Allahs rights

Asalamu alikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu 

Yes my rights ... her rights and his rights ....is this what polygyny is all about what about the right of our creator ..Do we truly give those rights to him ... we get so caught up with our going ons in this life which is just a passing moment that we forget who is over all things

We do not give Allah his rights because if we did then we would not question why he does what he does why he choose you to be in polygyny ..why he gave you this test ...Instead we argue .fight ... name call ... make trouble for one another ..we question everything Allah puts in front of us

We should be grateful that he choose us we should be grateful that he is testing us ..as we know that Allah only test those he loves 

If you want your rights then give Allah his rights worship him the way he needs to be worshiped ..keep Allah on your tongues remember him day and night ..remember this life is like a blinking eye it goes by so quick .. the next life is what we are looking for and remember in that we will meet our creator and we will be answerable for all we did and those right that we complained about wont be asked about but we will be asked about what we did in this life

Life Plans do Changed

Asalamu alikum

We Plan but Allah also plans

We go through life trying to decide what is best for us and what we want in this life in order to prepare our selves for the next life but the reality is these plans dont always go the way you want

When going into polygyny esp when you are open to it and have a good communication with your husband and you sit down and decide how you would like the next step to proceed in taking that journey into polygyny and both of you are on board but then something happens and you find out the way you planned thing doesnt go that way .. for what ever reason it is it has taken a completely different road and way out of what you wanted   .. and now you wonder how to deal with this

the reality of the situation is that the way it went wasnt done in a bad way it was just part of Allahs plan ..so now you have to step back and allow Allah to show you his plan the reason maybe for this is that Allah is trying to spare you the fitna that may have come with the original plan so for this reason it is best to say Alhamdu lilah and trust in your maker that he knows best for you
 

Life is hard enough without always trying to make it harder and even if we feel that it is hard Allah he knows best and will test those of us he loves .. so open your arms to him and allow the test to take you to where Allah wants you to go 

Always Be Positive

Asalamu alikum

I know alot of ppl when they think of polygyny they think of the negative of it they think oh my life is over they think about wives coming in as home wreckers 

But this isnt true  their is a beauty in polygyny and if we open our eyes to it we will see it ... if we take our selves and feelings out of it we will see that polygyny is a good way of life 

When we allow the negative to take over thats exactly what it does it takes over and we can never see the light but when we think positive about it then you will see positive 

So i know your thinking what positive well first of all it make your relationship better their is more love and understanding ... their is the joy of knowing that you have help another human being in a time of need which leads to hasant and a better life in the next life ...if you start out negative then it will be just that and even if you try to pretend that your positive it will show eventually, but starting out positively  will lead you to a positive attitude and alot of good 

 

Our husband want what is best for us and they want jannah for us and even tho some women see him as being selfish and not loving them it kills them because he knows by doing this sunnah the reward is more than we could ever imagine more to what even him ,himself can get and all you have to do is be good with him ... think about the responsibility that he has after he marries again having to alway be fair and just and having to deal with women who may always show their ungratefulness to him no matter what he does ...and remember ladies this is one of the signs of the last days where the women do this 

 

So think positive be positive and reap in the rewards  

Believing in Allahs qadar

Asalamu alikum 

Do ppl really believe in their whole heart THE QADAR OF ALLAH ..do they understand it's really meaning

Qadar means that Allaah has decreed everything that happens in the universe according to His prior knowledge and the dictates of His wisdom.

In Saheeh Muslim (2653) it is narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Allaah wrote down the decrees of creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.”  
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first thing that Allaah created was the Pen, and He said to it, ‘Write!’ It said, ‘O Lord, what should I write?’ He said: ‘Write down the decrees of all things until the Hour begins.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4700; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

So why is it then that when something goes wrong ppl start to think that what ever has happened happened because they didnt do such and such or because i'm no good ... the truth is the qadar of Allah is just that ...he has written it before you were born ... the same goes for Polygyny ... all of what will happen in your life has already been written .... and when a man takes on another women then that was written for him as well as for her she may have been married before but whatever happened in her marriage happen because Allah decreed it to happen at that time because maybe she was meant for another

I think if you dont believe full in the Qadar of Allah then you have not accepted the full extent of islam ...because the Qadar of Allah is one of the Pillars of Eman

Allaah says concerning His actions (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord creates whatsoever He wills and chooses”
[al-Qasas 28:68]

“and Allaah does what He wills”
[Ibraaheem 14:27]

“He it is Who shapes you in the wombs as He wills”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:6]

And He says concerning the actions of created beings (interpretation of the meaning):

“Had Allaah willed, indeed He would have given them power over you, and they would have fought you”
[al-Nisa’ 4:90]

“If your Lord had so willed, they would not have done it”
[al-An’aam 6:112]

All events, actions and happenings occur only by the will of Allaah. Whatever Allaah wills happens, and whatever He does not will does not happen. 

Jealousy ..no room for it

Asalamu Alikum 

Yes ladies we are better than this ..Jealousy really has no part in our heart ..and when i say that i mean the type that causes major problems ....we know the hadith that speak about jealousy of a husband to his wife ..well their should be the same for a wife to her husband but within limits ...also remember the hadith about Allah being jealousy of us

In Sahih Bukhari, Book 62, (Chapter on Nikah), Chapter 30 it says:

CHAPTER 30: The Ghira (i.e., honour, prestige or self-respect)

[Sa'd ibn ubaada said: "If i saw a man with my wife I would strike him with the sharp edge of the sword." The prophet (SAW) said (to his companions); "Are you ashtonished by Sa'd's (Ghira) sense of honour? (By Allaah) I have a greater sense of Ghira than he has, and Allaah has still more greater sense of Ghira than I have."]

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Masud:

The Prophet, said, "There is none having a greater sense of Ghira than Allah. And for that He has forbidden the doing of evil actions (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) There is none who likes to be praised more than Allah does." [B150]

So within limits it is good ..but not to allow it take over your lives to the point that it makes you crazy ... this is one of the things that the shaytan will take advantage of  he loves when we let ourselves go to the extreme and get out of control ..because this bad jealousy is ugly and in turn it makes you look ugly ...

We want to always look good and than start with control and i know ladies we can do that as always this comes down to your belief in Allah and your trust too

Polygyny ..is it really the problem

Asalamu Alikum

I was having thoughts the other day and was wondering to myself ..do we women ..wives really have a problem with polygyny for us to behave the way they do or is it a way to control the man ..knowing that some men are weak and all the want is quietness so they will do anything to keep the piece even if it means wives getting hurt ... i think if the man shows that he is the man these women wouldnt have the chance to play him ...

Now what i mean by men being week it is after they marry and have 2..3..4 wifes are making trouble and constant complaining to him and rather than deal with it he gives in ...which means that yes one or more of the wives get hurt 

Men who want polygyny need to learn and know that they are the man of the house and wither every woman agrees or not we all want that alpha male the one that takes control ...when things get out of control he needs to take a stand and show his wives who indeed is the boss ...because if not it only take a small opening of weakness and the women will jump on it

What it all boils down to is Allah made man the way he is wither we like it or not and he made women the way they are wither we like it or not ... placing trust in Allah before everything else will always get you by and these mind games we like to play with our men will seem so trivial ..and the love Allah will take over and with this love the love or our husband  will become stronger too

Questions ... questions ...or stay slient

Asalamu alikum

When that time comes and the man is deciding after meeting a potential wife wither he will go ahead ... he comes to his wife and talks to her he tells her that he found someone and is interested in her straight away the wife has a million of question to ask and her mind starts to ramble ... is this good for her or not is it better to stay silent ... she decides to just ask the simple question like name... age just the question to give her an idea of who this sister is

After this they get on with life .. but the shayatn is starting his job and placing so many more questions their .. questions that at the moment their isnt answers but he places them their knowing that if you keep asking them your husband may get annoyed ...so what to do

you need to seek refuge in Allah from the shyatan and not let his whispers get to you because the reality is it's not your problem ... the husband is the one that needs to deal with this as long as your right are been given and he isnt doing anything haram then it's best to stay silent

Just make dua that Allah gives the right person to help your family grow and prosper and that she will be a benefit  to you all .... and keep yourself to yourself like that your husband is happy and it make life easy for all

Are we made of stone or just human

Asalamu alikum

So are we made of stone or just human ... even the strongest of us have a moment or 2 were we show that we arent made of stone and that in fact we are human ... i actually believe that these moment are good as it is a reminder that we need to focus more on our deen and know this life maybe just maybe we have slipped in our worship and with this we have allowed the waswas of the shyatan to place things their that rent true 

It is also good for our husbands to know this too as when we show ourselves being strong all the time and even tho we have those days we have to fight ourselves to not allow it to show  ..they seem to forget ans then it takes them by surprise so it is good they see us like that but not to the stage that it causes problems 

Life is hard in general and fighting the waswas of shaytan can become a little too much but always believing that Allah is their for us and will show us the right way to go helps us to get pass those days and also having a husband who will understand those days and help you to get through it is also a blessing but this can only come when we surrender ourselves to Allah him self and let him do what e knows best

Remember ladies we are just human but dont allow that to over take us

Time is coming

The time is coming soon again ... and this time i'm more relaxed than ever .. i dont stress over him and what he is doing or what will happen ... i believe in him that he knows what he is doing ..i also know that Allah is their every step of the way ... the last few were big lesson and i learned so much from them and they were big tests that i hope i have past 

The more relaxed i become the more i focus on myself  and see myself doing things i may not have done before ... i'm making plans for the future which has nothing to do with him but Allah ... i want to be closer to Allah and to have Allah be close to me and i say Alhamdu lilah for polygyny

Chin up ladies we can all do this and Allah knows this  we are stronger than we think and we need to push the shyatan away from us all

My hopes and dreams

Asalamu Alikum 

My hopes and dreams of having a co wife 

I hope and pray that one day that you will be here that you will bless the lives of all of us in this family and that we will becomes as one .... i hope that our lives can be lived as one and that we will have all the same goals in life that will help us reach jannah and in doing so that we will please Allah first and fore most and then our husband

It saddens me to know you arent here yet but i know that Allah plans first and what he has in store for us all will be beautiful ... i hope and pray that we will be able to reach a love that will please Allah and also please our husband and that love will blossom over time and our family will be the better because of it 

I know i ask for alot but why not i truly believe that Allah will bless me with the prefect co one day and that we will be able to fight the shyatan at times when he tries to place trouble between us all

Even if Allahs plan isnt for us to be like this i do hope and pray that we will follow the laws of Allah and be the best Muslimahs we can be and at the same time be good to one another

I wait patiently for this day And i will continue to make dua that it wont be too long before i get to know you

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO WISH THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE ALL BLESS WITH THE BEST OF THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT

Why is polygyny always seen in the bad way

Asalamu alikum 

So why is it that polygyny is always seen in a bad way ...why do we make more of it than it should be ... if indeed we believe in Allah and the prophet saws and we follow the ways of the salaf ... then why is polygyny spoken of badly and why is it not practiced the way need be

Polygyny is often see in a bad way because of the way we go about it ... on one hand you have men wanting this And believe me ALL MEN want polygyny just they dont go about it for one reason or another and if you believe that your man isnt one of them then you need to seek3Allahs help because EVERY MAN does ...anyway the way men go about searching for the next wife doesnt help as alot of men will do this in serect and even once married cant bring themselves to tell their wife/wives  and because of this polygyny is seen in the wrong way 

Also one of the other reasons are because men arent being men they Allow their wives to rule what is done and how ...this cant be a man needs to take control of his home as this is his responsibility and he will be held accountable for his family as well as himself on the day of judgement  when women are let go and allowed to take charge their emotions always get the better of them and this is when the shyatan comes and gets involved ..he places ideas their that arent really their but makes you feel that it is something bigger than it actually is ... so for this reason men need to take the control back and he needs to prove that he is indeed a man and can lead his family to jannah

We also have the idea of polygyny being used as a way to break families up which isnt true ... what is written for each marriage is in fact that it is written ... in coming wives are not their to destroy a family she is their as Allah wrote for her to be their and the man she married is who she was intended to marry the fact is that he is also married to another .... until we allow our hearts and mind to believe in true qadar of Allah then we will always use the blame game and never see the truth behind it all 

 

Following the Sunnah

Asalamu alikum

Subhan Allah i think sometimes as human we tend to try to convince ourselves we can do it or take on anything given to us and in reality sometimes we can ... but i do believe that the best way to take on everything Allah has planned for us is to believe in him with our whole heart and to believe in the prophet (saws) too

Polygyny is a sunnah and it isnt fard but by followig the sunnah in the best manner we can it will lead us to a place better than we can ever imagine ... but in order to do this we must be true to ourselves and to Allah and ask Allah to guide us and help us in this time when we enter polygyny and with the blessings of Allah he will make is easy or a little easier on us 

The best way to go about this is to teach ourselves to submit to Allah and learn from the books he has made possible for us to learn from and study these to the point of finding that your heart is at ease even tho that once in polygyny it can be much harder than you thought but Allah does know best and he knows what we dont know and as long as you try to implement what he has told us

Just remember their are big rewards for everyone that enters polygyny and you may no see it in ths life but iN shaa Allah you will in the next life

SO TRUST IN ALLAH

The emotions we go through

Asalamu alikum

So once you are told or you find out that he is intending to marry or has gone through with it your body fills with emotions ...some women will scream some will cry some will throw thing and some wont do nothing at all ... no matter what it is we all go through some type of emotions  it is how we deal with them is the answer 

I do believe that reaching out to Allah at times like this is the best way as he knows us better than we know ourselves cry if you need to but cry to Allah make dua ask him to take away the feelings your having the pain your feeling 

We will never understand why Allah made men this way but he did and now we need to try to get by by asking Allah to help us 

Even the most pro polygyny ppl can have those day where she feels like she wants to scream but knowing that this maybe the biggest test she will ever have is enough to know that Allah loves her to test her this way so we should all think in this way .... i know it is easier said than done and women are made with so much emotions that it takes over

But remember

Love yourself enough to Allow yourself to take this test head on

The Beginning

Asalamu alikum

I have started many blogs and in the end took them off as i found that maybe just maybe their was too much info out their and i need to respect certain ppl i also needed to change the way i spoke about my life and my family and polygyny in general

I found that when nothing was happening i had nothing to write so i will base this blog on the polygyny and my life as i see it and how i cope with it all

to start it off ... i would never have believe that i would have become very pro polygyny as i was surrounded by ppl who were always negative and always said i will never allow him to or he will have to divorce him and i found my self doing and thinking the same and even said it to him that i would never accept it and he would get annoyed but never got angry as he knew that one day i would change he knew me better than i knew myself 

it was the same when we made hijarah and i found that before this i was so fed up at listening to ppl that this was haram and that was haram but when i moved i found myself Islamicly and started to understand my deen the way i should and for myself so years later i really started to think about polygyny and found myself surfing the net and looking at blogs and i began to understand more up to the point that i was about to tell him to go find another as he was always traveling  and it would be the best solution  as i always worried about him  and knowing that he had another wife looking after him would ease my mind 

But before i could say it to him he came to me and at first my heart pounded by i knew Allah was with me so i asked him if he could be just between both and he said yes so i said ok ... he was so shocked as he thought i would get angry and explode but also knew that i would calm down and be behind him ... this is when everything change for us