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Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

Friday, 8 July 2016

Polygyny and your life

Asalamu Alikum 

The word polygyny vibrates through the harts and minds of women more these days than before why is this ... some women go straight to panic and some become unrecognizable to themselves and to others what causes this   

The shaytan has his ways to make you feel like it is the end of the world and that your life will never be the same ... that part is true your life wont be the same as your family will grow wither you like it or not  . your husband will have another wife or wives and even other kids and this is part of Allahs plan 

we need to stop giving control to shaytan and allowing him into our minds and allowing to place ideas their that arent true 

to me polygyny means family it means new learning and bettering ourselves to reach our goal which is jannah ..we need to embrace this and get on with life 


Friday, 8 January 2016

My rights, Her rights, His rights . What about Allahs rights





Asalamu alikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu 

Yes my rights ... her rights and his rights ....is this what polygyny is all about what about the right of our creator ..Do we truly give those rights to him ... we get so caught up with our going ons in this life which is just a passing moment that we forget who is over all things

We do not give Allah his rights because if we did then we would not question why he does what he does why he choose you to be in polygyny ..why he gave you this test ...Instead we argue .fight ... name call ... make trouble for one another ..we question everything Allah puts in front of us

We should be grateful that he choose us we should be grateful that he is testing us ..as we know that Allah only test those he loves 

If you want your rights then give Allah his rights worship him the way he needs to be worshiped ..keep Allah on your tongues remember him day and night ..remember this life is like a blinking eye it goes by so quick .. the next life is what we are looking for and remember in that we will meet our creator and we will be answerable for all we did and those right that we complained about wont be asked about but we will be asked about what we did in this life

Monday, 2 November 2015

Life Plans do Changed

Asalamu alikum

We Plan but Allah also plans

We go through life trying to decide what is best for us and what we want in this life in order to prepare our selves for the next life but the reality is these plans dont always go the way you want

When going into polygyny esp when you are open to it and have a good communication with your husband and you sit down and decide how you would like the next step to proceed in taking that journey into polygyny and both of you are on board but then something happens and you find out the way you planned thing doesnt go that way .. for what ever reason it is it has taken a completely different road and way out of what you wanted   .. and now you wonder how to deal with this

the reality of the situation is that the way it went wasnt done in a bad way it was just part of Allahs plan ..so now you have to step back and allow Allah to show you his plan the reason maybe for this is that Allah is trying to spare you the fitna that may have come with the original plan so for this reason it is best to say Alhamdu lilah and trust in your maker that he knows best for you
 
Life is hard enough without always trying to make it harder and even if we feel that it is hard Allah he knows best and will test those of us he loves .. so open your arms to him and allow the test to take you to where Allah wants you to go 

Monday, 3 August 2015

Women We Are Our Own Worse Enemies


Asalamu alikum

Well the search goes on and maybe just maybe it isnt meant to be Allahu alum if it does happen i'm ready and if not i'm ready ...but as i sit here waiting to see what Allah will or will not place in my path i start to wonder why we women are our own worse enemies 

We want this life and all in it and we want the next life and if we dont get what we want we throw a fit ...now when it comes to polygyny women have become very good and throwing these fits and thinking ah he will stop everything because i do ... but really ladies do we even think of what Allah will do to us for acting in such a way 

I have been reading a few post on fb on blogs and other [place and one thing i seem to see alot of is women saying they will harm themselves if he takes another wife of they will take his kids and he will never see them again or even worse report them to the police ...really ladies is this the way to get what you want do you not think of the punishment you will get for doing this it may not happen in this life but defiantly in the next 

Do we not fear that Allah will not be pleased with us if we harm ourselves because of something he has allowed for his followers to do  ...do we not fear Allah for taking away the kids from our husband in order to punish him for what he is doing when in fact we will be the one to be punished ... and even worse do we not fear Allah for harming another muslim by involving police just so that we can stop what Allah made permissible ...

COME ON LADIES WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS

Our goal above all is jannah and doing all the above will not help you get their in fact it will delay it ... we really need to start trusting our creator and knowing what he place in our path is for our own good in order to help and prepare us for the next life

So think about it ladies do you want to be one of those Allah grants jannah to because you had subr when your husband took another wife or do you want the punishment of both this life and the next because you acted in a way that displeased your creator ...

IT'S TIME TO PUT YOUR THINKING CAPS ON AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT FOR BOTH THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT

Monday, 8 June 2015

Always Be Positive


Asalamu alikum

I know alot of ppl when they think of polygyny they think of the negative of it they think oh my life is over they think about wives coming in as home wreckers 

But this isnt true  their is a beauty in polygyny and if we open our eyes to it we will see it ... if we take our selves and feelings out of it we will see that polygyny is a good way of life 

When we allow the negative to take over thats exactly what it does it takes over and we can never see the light but when we think positive about it then you will see positive 

So i know your thinking what positive well first of all it make your relationship better their is more love and understanding ... their is the joy of knowing that you have help another human being in a time of need which leads to hasant and a better life in the next life ...if you start out negative then it will be just that and even if you try to pretend that your positive it will show eventually, but starting out positively  will lead you to a positive attitude and alot of good 
 
Our husband want what is best for us and they want jannah for us and even tho some women see him as being selfish and not loving them it kills them because he knows by doing this sunnah the reward is more than we could ever imagine more to what even him ,himself can get and all you have to do is be good with him ... think about the responsibility that he has after he marries again having to alway be fair and just and having to deal with women who may always show their ungratefulness to him no matter what he does ...and remember ladies this is one of the signs of the last days where the women do this 
 
So think positive be positive and reap in the rewards  

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Believing in Allahs qadar

Asalamu alikum 

Do ppl really believe in their whole heart THE QADAR OF ALLAH ..do they understand it's really meaning

Qadar means that Allaah has decreed everything that happens in the universe according to His prior knowledge and the dictates of His wisdom.

In Saheeh Muslim (2653) it is narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Allaah wrote down the decrees of creation fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.”  
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first thing that Allaah created was the Pen, and He said to it, ‘Write!’ It said, ‘O Lord, what should I write?’ He said: ‘Write down the decrees of all things until the Hour begins.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4700; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

So why is it then that when something goes wrong ppl start to think that what ever has happened happened because they didnt do such and such or because i'm no good ... the truth is the qadar of Allah is just that ...he has written it before you were born ... the same goes for Polygyny ... all of what will happen in your life has already been written .... and when a man takes on another women then that was written for him as well as for her she may have been married before but whatever happened in her marriage happen because Allah decreed it to happen at that time because maybe she was meant for another

I think if you dont believe full in the Qadar of Allah then you have not accepted the full extent of islam ...because the Qadar of Allah is one of the Pillars of Eman



Allaah says concerning His actions (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord creates whatsoever He wills and chooses”
[al-Qasas 28:68]

“and Allaah does what He wills”
[Ibraaheem 14:27]

“He it is Who shapes you in the wombs as He wills”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:6]

And He says concerning the actions of created beings (interpretation of the meaning):

“Had Allaah willed, indeed He would have given them power over you, and they would have fought you”
[al-Nisa’ 4:90]

“If your Lord had so willed, they would not have done it”
[al-An’aam 6:112]

All events, actions and happenings occur only by the will of Allaah. Whatever Allaah wills happens, and whatever He does not will does not happen. 

Saturday, 9 May 2015

I love you for the sake of Allah


Asalamu Alikum 


Love of Allah comes from the heart it isnt words that are spoken .... when dealing with polygyny and other wives we should truly mean when we say i love you for Allahs sake .. but the reality is alot dont it is words they say to please their husband but their hearts dont mean those words ....


Could you imagine the hasant their is in saying these words ..it means that you love Allah first and for his sake you will love everything around you even if you dont like it

True love for Allah can melt the heart in ways beyond our imaginations ..a feeling of warmth can take over because with this love comes a true connection with Allah

Look at this hadith

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: 'Where are those who love one another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a day when there is no shade but My shade.'" [Bukhari (also by Malik).]


How blessed would you be to have the shade of Allah over you
and to know that this is because you truly loved for his sake ... you didnt do it because you were told to my other or because you wanted something in return something that would be of no benefit to you later down the road


I truly love you all for the sake of Allah and when i'm blessed with my cowife .. i will truly love her too not because she is married to our husband but because she is my sister in islam and i want for her what i want for my self ...ALLAHS LOVE

Jealousy ..no room for it

Asalamu Alikum 

Yes ladies we are better than this ..Jealousy really has no part in our heart ..and when i say that i mean the type that causes major problems ....we know the hadith that speak about jealousy of a husband to his wife ..well their should be the same for a wife to her husband but within limits ...also remember the hadith about Allah being jealousy of us

In Sahih Bukhari, Book 62, (Chapter on Nikah), Chapter 30 it says:

CHAPTER 30: The Ghira (i.e., honour, prestige or self-respect)

[Sa'd ibn ubaada said: "If i saw a man with my wife I would strike him with the sharp edge of the sword." The prophet (SAW) said (to his companions); "Are you ashtonished by Sa'd's (Ghira) sense of honour? (By Allaah) I have a greater sense of Ghira than he has, and Allaah has still more greater sense of Ghira than I have."]

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Masud:

The Prophet, said,
"There is none having a greater sense of Ghira than Allah. And for that He has forbidden the doing of evil actions (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) There is none who likes to be praised more than Allah does." [B150]


So within limits it is good ..but not to allow it take over your lives to the point that it makes you crazy ... this is one of the things that the shaytan will take advantage of  he loves when we let ourselves go to the extreme and get out of control ..because this bad jealousy is ugly and in turn it makes you look ugly ...

We want to always look good and than start with control and i know ladies we can do that as always this comes down to your belief in Allah and your trust too

Polygyny ..is it really the problem


Asalamu Alikum

I was having thoughts the other day and was wondering to myself ..do we women ..wives really have a problem with polygyny for us to behave the way they do or is it a way to control the man ..knowing that some men are weak and all the want is quietness so they will do anything to keep the piece even if it means wives getting hurt ... i think if the man shows that he is the man these women wouldnt have the chance to play him ...

Now what i mean by men being week it is after they marry and have 2..3..4 wifes are making trouble and constant complaining to him and rather than deal with it he gives in ...which means that yes one or more of the wives get hurt 

Men who want polygyny need to learn and know that they are the man of the house and wither every woman agrees or not we all want that alpha male the one that takes control ...when things get out of control he needs to take a stand and show his wives who indeed is the boss ...because if not it only take a small opening of weakness and the women will jump on it

What it all boils down to is Allah made man the way he is wither we like it or not and he made women the way they are wither we like it or not ... placing trust in Allah before everything else will always get you by and these mind games we like to play with our men will seem so trivial ..and the love Allah will take over and with this love the love or our husband  will become stronger too

Saturday, 2 May 2015

Questions ... questions ...or stay slient

Asalamu alikum

When that time comes and the man is deciding after meeting a potential wife wither he will go ahead ... he comes to his wife and talks to her he tells her that he found someone and is interested in her straight away the wife has a million of question to ask and her mind starts to ramble ... is this good for her or not is it better to stay silent ... she decides to just ask the simple question like name... age just the question to give her an idea of who this sister is

After this they get on with life .. but the shayatn is starting his job and placing so many more questions their .. questions that at the moment their isnt answers but he places them their knowing that if you keep asking them your husband may get annoyed ...so what to do

you need to seek refuge in Allah from the shyatan and not let his whispers get to you because the reality is it's not your problem ... the husband is the one that needs to deal with this as long as your right are been given and he isnt doing anything haram then it's best to stay silent

Just make dua that Allah gives the right person to help your family grow and prosper and that she will be a benefit  to you all .... and keep yourself to yourself like that your husband is happy and it make life easy for all

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Are we made of stone or just human

Asalamu alikum
So are we made of stone or just human ... even the strongest of us have a moment or 2 were we show that we arent made of stone and that in fact we are human ... i actually believe that these moment are good as it is a reminder that we need to focus more on our deen and know this life maybe just maybe we have slipped in our worship and with this we have allowed the waswas of the shyatan to place things their that rent true 

It is also good for our husbands to know this too as when we show ourselves being strong all the time and even tho we have those days we have to fight ourselves to not allow it to show  ..they seem to forget ans then it takes them by surprise so it is good they see us like that but not to the stage that it causes problems 

Life is hard in general and fighting the waswas of shaytan can become a little too much but always believing that Allah is their for us and will show us the right way to go helps us to get pass those days and also having a husband who will understand those days and help you to get through it is also a blessing but this can only come when we surrender ourselves to Allah him self and let him do what e knows best

Remember ladies we are just human but dont allow that to over take us


Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Same old same old

Asalamu alikum

It has been a while and nothing really to report ... hubby is still looking for another wife but also believe that Allah will give to him when and if he decides to ... we joke alot about it these days as their isnt any point in letting yourself going crazy and wondering when it will all happen 

i have indeed been blessed with many good sister and to the point i have been able to help in their problem with polygyny ... nobody ever said it was easy but i do believe that it depends on your relationship with Allah and those you connect yourself with ...if ppl are around you reminding you of Allah then the shyatan cant get himself in their 

Their are days that pass and i sometimes think that it will never come to pass and then their are days i think maybe soon ..but one thing i dont do is allow it to take over my life and my thoughts ..... i fill those spaces with remembrance of Allah  and as long as i do that Allah will be their for me no matter what

Friday, 23 January 2015

Why is polygyny always seen in the bad way


Asalamu alikum 

So why is it that polygyny is always seen in a bad way ...why do we make more of it than it should be ... if indeed we believe in Allah and the prophet saws and we follow the ways of the salaf ... then why is polygyny spoken of badly and why is it not practiced the way need be

Polygyny is often see in a bad way because of the way we go about it ... on one hand you have men wanting this And believe me ALL MEN want polygyny just they dont go about it for one reason or another and if you believe that your man isnt one of them then you need to seek3Allahs help because EVERY MAN does ...anyway the way men go about searching for the next wife doesnt help as alot of men will do this in serect and even once married cant bring themselves to tell their wife/wives  and because of this polygyny is seen in the wrong way 

Also one of the other reasons are because men arent being men they Allow their wives to rule what is done and how ...this cant be a man needs to take control of his home as this is his responsibility and he will be held accountable for his family as well as himself on the day of judgement  when women are let go and allowed to take charge their emotions always get the better of them and this is when the shyatan comes and gets involved ..he places ideas their that arent really their but makes you feel that it is something bigger than it actually is ... so for this reason men need to take the control back and he needs to prove that he is indeed a man and can lead his family to jannah

We also have the idea of polygyny being used as a way to break families up which isnt true ... what is written for each marriage is in fact that it is written ... in coming wives are not their to destroy a family she is their as Allah wrote for her to be their and the man she married is who she was intended to marry the fact is that he is also married to another .... until we allow our hearts and mind to believe in true qadar of Allah then we will always use the blame game and never see the truth behind it all 

 

Friday, 26 December 2014

Following the Sunnah


Asalamu alikum

Subhan Allah i think sometimes as human we tend to try to convince ourselves we can do it or take on anything given to us and in reality sometimes we can ... but i do believe that the best way to take on everything Allah has planned for us is to believe in him with our whole heart and to believe in the prophet (saws) too

Polygyny is a sunnah and it isnt fard but by followig the sunnah in the best manner we can it will lead us to a place better than we can ever imagine ... but in order to do this we must be true to ourselves and to Allah and ask Allah to guide us and help us in this time when we enter polygyny and with the blessings of Allah he will make is easy or a little easier on us 

The best way to go about this is to teach ourselves to submit to Allah and learn from the books he has made possible for us to learn from and study these to the point of finding that your heart is at ease even tho that once in polygyny it can be much harder than you thought but Allah does know best and he knows what we dont know and as long as you try to implement what he has told us

Just remember their are big rewards for everyone that enters polygyny and you may no see it in ths life but iN shaa Allah you will in the next life

SO TRUST IN ALLAH

Friday, 28 November 2014

What Stops us

Asalamu Alikum 

What is it that stops us from wanting polygyny or even looking into it ...we know the shaytan places alot of negative thoughts out their but also from ourselves we fear it 

My thoughts are that some ppl find distance a problem for example ..when ppl meet over the net or even through other parties but still from the net and everything is going well but you fear about moving their because you arent sure how it will turn out esp when women are involved ..we never know if our co wives are going to change and be the opposite of what they were before the move but the reality is even with out a move and your in the smae place we never know what will happen and thats when we need to place our trust in Allah and know he knows best 

The other things that stops us is the horror stories out their and we believe that it may happen to us ....but when you have complete trust in Allah and you believe in his Qadar then you know what ever happens is what has already be written 

It's this fear that the shyatan get a grip on and plays with and we need to stop letting he grab it .... when you place your self in Allahs hands and his trust then the fear will go and after that the shayatn has nothing else to do but go 

If i had let the fear of what has happened in the past with my ex co's then i wouldnt be here right now ... i do believe that each trial we go throught is their to help us along our path and to open our eyes to the power of Allah and what i in his hands ...so if i can let go and not allow the fear to take over then you all can

Thursday, 20 November 2014

“Now I know how valuable you were”


Asalamu alikum

I really want to share this with you all .. i cam across it today and thought it may be helpful to someone out their
“Now I know how valuable you were”
Even though she was tired and exhausted, she refused to sleep after fajr prayer like he does, just so she can wake him up for work on time…
She woke him up after going through so much trouble to do so, only for him to wake up angry at her, saying: “Ugh, No relaxation ever comes from you!”, That is her daily “Thank you”.
He comes back from work, exhausted and finds the house clean, food ready, the kids and her waiting, happy faces excited for his return.
However, he comes in a grumpy mood, not uttering even a single joke to his kids. Eats a little and sleeps so he can later join his friends on a night out.
She does not tell him about the children’s problems to not burden him any further. Even so, when she is unable to find solutions, she feels the need to share with him some of the problems, thinking “They are his kids as well, maybe he will help”. But alas, he refuses and tells her that he has too many things on his plate to think about her and the kids.
Eventually, the kids grew up, and each have their own lives, leaving her alone and empty. Her life now revolves around her husband, no one to talk to and no one to spend time with.
She told him one day after she woke him up, “Stay with me today, I would love for us to talk. Every day you come back, eat, take a nap then off you go to spend the rest of the day with your friends”
So he scolds her, and tells her that he needs to spend some time away from her depressed-looking face, “You mean nothing to me”.
She smiled that sad smile of her, and a tear dropped on her cheek, she went to her room while he left to meet his friends.
He comes back home only to find her lifeless body lying on her bed, a single tear left his eye when he put her in her grave, and his sadness kept increasing every time a person offered his condolences.
He goes back home and finds no one waiting for him, the house felt quite and depressing, but he kept telling himself that he will get used to it.
He went to his room to sleep… the sun rose… he wakes up and finds himself late for work.
He calls her to scold her, how could she leave him sleep in!? Then all of a sudden, he remembers. She passed away. He started crying, for she is now a memory.
He remembers how all she wanted was a nice word from him, how she wished he could spend one day with her, instead of spending it with his friends. He remembers how she endured his insults, and matched them with smiles and choked tears. Oh, how she lived her life to serve him and their children. Now I know how valuable you were.
——
Will you remain like this dear husband, not knowing how valuable your wife is? Not treating her with the respect that she deserves? Remember, you are where she finds love, pleasure and security, Allah the Almighty says:
{هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَا}
{It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love)} [Al-A’raf:187].
Dear wife,
You, who Allah honoured and made you embraced by the Ummah’s men and women. You, who Allah made to be the teacher and carer for whom he blessed the most out of his creation; the human being. Make your work and your troubles for the sake of Allah the Almighty, for he alone can reward you. Do not hurt if your children disobey you, do not care if your husband ignores you. Let your priority be the pleasure of Allah the merciful, and work for his sake.
Dear husband,
You should know that whoever is kind to them (the wife) is a kind person, and whoever insults them, is a mean person. The Prophet (Peace be upon Him) said: ‘The best of you is he who is best to his family (i.e wife), and I am the best among you to my family, whoever is kind to the women, is a kind person, and whoever insults them, is a mean person ‘ (Al-Jami’us sagheer: [4102])
Did you see, o husband? “Whoever insults them, is a mean person”, the Prophet didn’t use the word stingy or selfish, he used the word mean, which is the worst trait a one can have as it means the person is ignoble and lacks in dignity.
I ask Allah to harmonize between our hearts, fix our inner conditions, guide us to the ways of peace, and take us out from darkness to light, Ameen

How much should we get Involved

Asalamu Alikum 

So how much is too much 

When a husband comes to his wife and tells her that he wants to remarry it can go many ways one of the ways it can go is that his wife is fine about it which leads the husband to ask her to help him in finding a wife and she agrees ... now this is where we ask how much is too much 

Some women use this as a way to control who he marries and hat happens within that marriage which can cause alot of fitnah and some women choose to only get involved when asked and that is to meet the sister and talk ..but even with this it can cause problem as their are women who dont like the fact the first wife is involved as they dont see it is her business as they are marring the man and not the wife 

But the problem here is that their are men out their that want to have their wives involved it's a way of helping her to come to terms with the whole polygyny thing and to make her feel wanted even if she wants this for him it still shows her that she's important 

It is up to the women if this is what she wants, when all wives are on board it can be a great thing it's a cause for sisterhood  and helping the family grow together and when all are upon the deen then their can be less fitnah

Their also should be limits set and those shouldnt be over stepped ... if the first wife is involved she should wan the best for her husband and want someone who will help him enter jannah not someone who is fatter or skinner than her who isnt beautiful who is bad within the deen as this wont help and may cause alot of friction in the marriage or both marriages .... when we allow shyatan to get into our head and place such ideas their we are asking for a disaster but when we place everything in Allahs hand and ask only for the best and want only the best ..thats when we come to realise that your husband will love you more and you will find that you wont be as involved in the process of him finding a wife 

With the experience i have gone through within my life in and out of polygyny i have come to believe that making a friendship with the sister is great but thats what it should be a friendship and not a way to control what goes on between them both ... if she comes and asks for advice then yes do give but put yourself out of the equation and see it form a sister to sister thing and not a wife to wife thing as this can cause you not to give the right advice

So in reality It is up to the ppl involved as to how much is too much

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Why do some marriage dont work


Asalamu alikum

Why do marriage some breakdown and end up in divorce ...the answer to this is Allahu Alum ...Allah knows best as everything is in his hands 

Their are many reason as to why ... ppl fall out of love ... circumstance changes and many more reason ...one of the reason can be within the deen and that is from sihr ..ayn... and jinn ... and all of this will onlt work witht he permission of Allah  ...if your upon the haqq and doing everything Allah says for you to do ... like praying all salat on time and even doing the sunnah ones ..fasting .. reading quran everday .. saying your adkar every morning and evening  ...keeping yourself in wudu ..staying away form anything haram ... not watching certain things on tv .... not listen to music and so on 

If someone isnt doing this the only with what is written can sihr ..ayn and jinn afflict you ...and if you become afflicted it can lead to many problem .. like divorce ..as their are different types of magic that are place their to separated husband from wife and the jinn that come to help make this work will do everything to make it happen .... 

. Sihr of Separation
Allah (swt) says: (...and they follow what the Shayateens recited over Sulayman's Kingdom. Sulayman disbelieved not but the Shayateens disbelieved, teaching the people sorcery, and that which was sent down upon Babylon's two angels, Harut and Marut; they taught not any man, without they said, 'We are but a temptation; do not disbelieve.' From them they learned how they might divide a man and his wife, yet they did not hurt any man thereby, save by the leave of Allah (swt), and they learnt what hurt them and did not profit them, knowing well that whosoever buys it shall have no share in the world to come; evil then was that they sold themselves for; if they had but known.) (2:102)

Jabir (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said: "Iblis would lay his throne on water and would send his brigade of demons. The lowest among them in rank is the one who is most notorious in stirring up fitna. One of the demons would, after a mission, come and say to Iblis, 'I have done so and so.' Iblis would reply, 'You have not done anything.' Another one would come and say: 'I have not left such and such person until I separated him from his wife.' Iblis would come closer to his demon and say, 'How good you are.'" - (Muslim in An-Nawawi : 17/157)

Definition of Sihr of Separation
It is a Sihr which aims to separate between two spouses, or stir up hatred between two friends or two partners.

Symptoms of Sihr of Separation:
1. A sudden change in attitude from love to hate.
2. Exaggerating the causes of disputes between two people, even though they may be trivial.
3. Changing the mental image that a woman may have of her husband, or changing the mental image that a man may have of his wife; so that the man would see his wife in an ugly way, even though she were beautiful. In reality, it is the demon who is entrusted with the task of performing this type of Sihr is the one who would appear to the husband in her person, but in an ugly way. By the same token, the woman would see her husband in a horrible way.

4. The person affected by Sihr hates anything the other party does.
5.The person affected by Sihr hates the place in which the other party stays. For instance, a husband may be in good mood when he is outdoors, but when he returns home, he feels quiete depressed.
According to Al-Hafidh Ibn Kathir, the cause of separation between two spouses through this Sihr is that each of them appears to the other as an ugly or ill-mannered person. - (Tafsir lbn Kathir: 1/144)

these are just some of the thing that a person see or feels and the jinn will work on it till he reaches his goal

So before ending a marriage think well and see if their is any thing else their causing this ... it could be that finding something may help your marriage or it could be just the time is up and it is written for you not to continue in this marriage 

I do hope and pray that all of you will never have to go through stuff like this that your marriages will go from strength to strength

Always remember Allah and  and ask for his help first before everything else

Monday, 17 November 2014

How to go about polygyny


Asalamu Alikum

How to deal with polygyny

Well the time has come and he is looking for no 2/3/4 and you sit waiting to see if he has found her at this time shyatan will come to you and your mind will go with what he whispers ..you will start to  think what if's and placing yourself in a situation and wondering how it will work out ... this is the shyatans way to place doubts in your mid and trying to put a stop to it

The best thing to do is not even think about it let it be and get on with your normal life do your daily things and leave it in Allahs hands and when the time comes and he has found someone then you cantry to either get along with her or not ... 

And the time he is with her this is the time to find yourself and do things for yourself that you may have not been able to do before

Dont allow yourself to be engulf  in what is going on with them worry about your own marriage and the life you built with him ... yes i know that you wont see him as much but the time you do see him make it worth it