Asalamu alikum
Polygyny in Islam
Marriage to more than one wife at the same time - Polygyny
3 -
is a practice as old as the history of man, and is allowed in Islamic
law. Among others, Polygyny was well known to the Ancient Hebrews,
Egyptians, Greeks, Persians, Assyrians, Japanese, Hindus, Russians and
Germanic peoples.
All previous revealed religions practiced and condoned Polygyny. The
Old and New Testaments are at the foremost in the list of the
religious Books that legalized and practiced it. Many of the Prophets
of Allah before Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) entered into plural
marriages. Prophet Abraham had two wives; Prophet Jacob had four
wives; and Prophet David had ninety-nine wives (may Allah exalt their
mention). Prophet Solomon (may Allah exalt their mention) had seven
hundred wives who were free noble women, and three hundred other wives
who were slave women. Nowhere does the law of the Prophet Moses (may
Allah exalt their mention) set or determine a specific number of wives
to which a husband was entitled. The compilers of the Talmud, who lived
around Jerusalem, decided upon a certain number of wives for a man,
and some Jewish scholars only permitted a second wife or more if the
first wife was permanently ill or barren. Still other Jewish scholars
did not permit plural marriages at all.
In the New Testament of the Bible, Jesus is commissioned to comply
with and complete the Laws of Moses (may Allah exalt their mention)
and we cannot find a single quote in the Bible that forbids plural
marriage. The prohibition of plural marriages in Christianity came
about only as a result of legislation set forth certain segments of the
Christian church, and not by the original teachings of Christianity
itself.
For this reason we find many examples of Christians taking multiple
wives. The Irish king, Ditharmet, for instance, had two wives. King
Frederick the Second had two wives with the church's approval. Thus, it
must be noticed that prohibition was in the hands of the priests of
the church, and not in accordance with any universally recognized
original law of Jesus Christ himself (may Allah exalt their mention).
Martin Luther, the German priest who first established the Protestant
sect, considered plural marriage acceptable and advocated it on many
occasions.
Polygyny was well known amongst pagan Arab tribes prior to the
advent of Islam but there was no limitation for the number of wives,
like in the cases of some of the Prophets mentioned above. With the
advent of Islam, the Islamic law condoned Polygyny but a man was limited
to only four wives, and specific rules regulated these marriages.
There are numerous examples in the authentic traditions wherein the
Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) obligated those who had more than
four wives, when they accepted Islam, to choose four and divorce the
rest honorably. Allah, the Most Beneficent, said:
(And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice,
two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to
deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves)
that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from
doing injustice.)
[4:3]
Thus we see that strict justice and fairness in treatment, and
avoiding any injustice and wrong practices against all wives, is
stipulated and conditional for those who wish to take more than one
wife. The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) warned against
favoritism saying:
"He who has two wives and is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides fallen."
[Abu Dawood #2133 & Tirmidhi #1141 and verified]
Justice and fairness, in this context, applies to material things
such as expenditure, fair division of wealth, gifts, time, etc. As for
emotional matters, such as love and inclination of the heart towards
one wife over the other, it is recognized that man has no control over
his innermost heart and emotions, as they are involuntary. Allah, the
Most Beneficent, said:
(You will never be able to do perfect justice between
wives even if it is your ardent desire (i.e. emotions of the heart), so
do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your
time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither
divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right
and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is
Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful)
[4:129]
Aishah, the mother of the believers and the wife of the Prophet (Peace be upon Him), narrated:
"The Prophet of Allah (Peace be upon Him) would distribute everything justly amongst his wives, then say:
O Allah! This is my division for what I possess, O Allah! Do not blame
me for what You alone possess while I do not (i.e. emotions of the
heart).
[Abu Da`wood, Tirmidhi others, but with a weak chain]
A man who is impotent should not seek any marriage since he is
unable to fulfill its basic requirement. He who knows for sure that he
is financially incapable of supporting another wife and household, is
not allowed to seek another marriage, just as the bachelor who seeks to
marry must strive to earn the wherewithal and must be able to sustain
his wife and future children. As Allah says, and which can be taken as a
general rule:
(And let those who find not the financial means for
marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them with His
Bounty.)
[34:33]
Let us take a look of some conditions that befall people of any
society, and then assess whether Polygyny is a good solution for the
problems that occur, and also the practice of Polygyny is in favor of a
woman or against her! The following points prove that monogamy in many
situations leads to promiscuity, prostitution or divorce:
- If a woman is sterile and the husband is interested in having
children, should he divorce the woman and marry a second wife? Or, if
she chooses to stay married to him, should he take a second wife giving
them both equal rights as his lawful wives?
- If a wife is chronically ill and cannot maintain her marital
relations with her husband, should he keep her and take a second wife
wherein she remains perfectly honored, cared for and provided for by her
husband? Or should he divorce her?
- Some men are financially strong, and sexually demanding and
potent with higher levels of hormonal testosterone. One wife may not be
able to fulfill his lawful and natural sexual desire. If the menstrual
period or after-birth-confinement period is notably longer than normal,
or if she has no natural sexual desire to match that of the husband,
or other scenarios, what is better for both husband and wife in such a
case? Is it better for the man to remain frustrated and pent up, or
seek unlawful sexual satisfaction outside the marriage? Or to acquire
other lawful wives who can help to keep him chaste and satisfied?
- In various parts of the world international and civil wars and
other catastrophes often take their toll on men more than women. Even
naturally, the demographic number of females, for various reasons, is
often more than males in most countries. The best example of this is
the case of the First World War, and the Second World War, which
claimed the lives of an astronomical number of men who had participated
in the fighting, with tens of millions of them being killed. In other
trouble spots the disproportionate death ratios are similar. In such a
case, if every man had only one wife, what would be the necessary
destiny of the women left without lawful marriage to satisfy their
social, financial and sexual needs? Some women may be tempted to satisfy
their sexual desires in unlawful ways through fornication, lesbian
activities or prostitution, a destabilizing factor for any society. The
abundance of women without husbands, or male relatives to care and
protect their interests, is one factor that helps spread corruption and
illegitimate sexual activities in societies. What is better for a
society and for such women in this case: to remain single and suffer
all the consequences of life without marriage; or to accept to be a
second wife with an honest, protective, honorable and chaste man?
Promiscuity unfortunately exists in all modern societies, but should
it be legalized or condoned, as is the case under man-made laws, with
all the social consequences? In most contemporary societies only
monogamous marriage is legal, but extra martial relations are allowed as
a socially acceptable substitute for the situations mentioned above,
in the form of mistresses, girl friends, escort services, prostitution
and common law marriages. These types of relationships have no merits
of their own to stand on, and if the couple does not eventually get
legally married, the illicit relationship often leads to abuse and
conflict. These illicit relationships are only meant to fulfill sexual
interests of the two parties involved without the responsibilities, and
abuse the rights of the women in general. Legally it imposes no
financial, social, or emotional obligations, and if the woman becomes
pregnant, it is her own problem, with the illegitimate children left
without the support of a family and sometimes abandoned to the social
service system. Men, generally, are not obliged to admit the paternity
of the child, thus not obliged to take financial responsibility for the
child. Abortions proliferate in this kind of society. In accordance
with Islamic law, a second, third, or fourth wife enjoys all the rights
and privileges of the first wife without an iota of injustice or
dishonor to her.
Adultery, fornication and all extramarital sexual relations are
strictly forbidden in Islam and the prophet took all measures to
protect the society from these social diseases which, if they become
widespread, can only bring harm and destruction upon individuals,
families, and the basic bond holding the society together as a whole.
The following tradition shows the wisdom of the Prophet (Peace be upon
Him) and patience in convincing a young virile man, by eloquent
analogies, the injustice of double standards and the evils of wanton
desires leading to fornication and adultery.No one would want his own
female relatives to be exploited, used and abused, so how, then, can
they allow themselves to exploit others?
An authentic tradition narrates:
"A young man came to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) and asked:
"O Messenger of Allah, permit me (with special license) to commit fornication (and adultery)."
The people started to rebuke him harshly, but the Prophet sat close to him and asked: "Would you like it for your mother?
He replied "No, by Allah, may Allah make me a sacrifice for you!"
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said: "And thus the people do not like it for their mothers," and continued:
"Would you like it for your daughter?"
"No" he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said: "And thus the people do not like it for their daughters," and continued:
Would you like it for your paternal aunt?"
"No" he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said: "And thus the people do not like it for their paternal aunts," and asked:
"Would you like it for your maternal aunt?"
"No" he replied.
The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him) said: "And thus the people
do not like it for their maternal aunts." Then the Prophet (Peace be
upon Him) put his hand on the youth and said: 'O Allah forgive his sin
and purify his heart and make him chaste (fortify his abstinence from
sexual sins).
[Ahmad #22265 and verified]
One might say that this tradition is a practical application of the
golden rule as mentioned by the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon Him):
"None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself."
[Bukhari #15 & Muslim #44]
Polygyny in the Islamic society is limited to four wives only; the
marriages being performed lawfully with a proper marriage contract,
witnesses, etc. The man must bear all financial burdens and
responsibilities to his wives and children that arise from his
marriages. All the children are legitimate and must be raised and cared
for under the responsibility of both parents.
One might ask that, if we permit Polygyny for men, why is not polyandry
permitted for women? The answer to this question is simple since
numerous natural and physical reasons, as indicated above, preclude
this as a viable option. Men in almost all societies of the world have
the position, domination and authority over the households due to their
natural endowment and strength. Even if, for argument's sake, we
forego the idea of their strength and suppose that a woman has two or
more husbands, the question will arise: who will have the ultimate
authority and leadership of the home - as this would create harmful
competition, jealousy, anger and hatred among the husbands and result in
great destruction in the society.
Moreover, if a woman were allowed to be married to more than one
man, who would be the legal father of the child she bears, and how
would fatherhood be convincingly determined? What would happen to the
demography of the society after some generations of this arrangement?
Would the men be able to remain chaste within their marriage vows in
such an arrangement with one wife, or would he be tempted into
promiscuity? The answers to all these questions are obvious. Since a
woman can only become pregnant approximately once a year and she can
get pregnant by only one man at a time, while a man can naturally
impregnate more than one woman on a continual basis, it follows that it
is more logical and natural that the man has more than one wife and
that she doesn't engage more than one husband.
Above all in Polygyny, the man is responsible for the provision of
all of his wives and children, which keeps everything in order, while
this is not the case in polyandry, thus impractical from any
conceivable angle whatsoever. The following are statements of some
Western thinkers who demanded Polygyny and considered it the only
solution for the problems they were confronted with in their societies.
Gustav Le Bon, the well-known French thinker, says in his book Arabic Civilization:
"Polygyny enables the society to reduce social crisis,
prevents the mistress problem and cures the society from illegitimate
children."
Annie Besant, in her book on Indian Religions says:
"I read in the Old Testament that the closest friend
to Allah, whose heart acts upon the Will of Allah, was polygynous.
Moreover, the New Testament did not forbid Polygyny except for priests
or ministers of the church, who were required to keep and maintain one
wife only. Old Indian religious books also permitted Polygyny. It is
easy, however, to criticize others in their religious practices. And
that is what made people accuse Islam and attack it for its permission
of Polygyny. However, it is strange that Westerners are against the
restricted and limited Polygyny of the Muslims, while they suffer from
wide scale prostitution and promiscuity in their own societies. A close
examining look at the Western society illustrates that only a few
pure, chaste and honest men respect their clean marital relationships
and honor their marriage to one single wife and have no other sexual
relationship outside marriage. It is an incorrect and inaccurate
statement, therefore, to describe a community as monogamous, in which
the men maintain a single marriage, while they are indeed having
mistresses, girl friends and other means of sexual relationship outside
the marriage to their legal and lawful wife.
If we were to be fair and just, we could see that
Polygyny in Islam protects, honors, maintains and respects women in
society. Polygyny is better than the Western prostitution that permits a
man to have a mistress or a girl friend to fulfill his sexual desires
with no respect to the feelings, emotions, needs and honor of the
women. The man will disown that woman as soon as he gets his
satisfaction. The man has no social commitment or obligation towards
the mistress or the girl friend. She is only meant to fulfill his
sexual needs of the moment and give him the company he needs
temporarily. Even though some people declare both Polygyny and
fornication or prostitution as bad and unacceptable, yet it is unfair
for the non-Muslims to blame a Muslim for doing the same thing that he
does while his society accepts and condones it."
Jawad, a well-known English scholar, says:
"The stiff British system which prevents Polygyny is
an unfair and unacceptable system. It severely hurts approximately two
million women who have become old maids. These women have lost their
youth and were deprived of having children. Thus, these women were
forced to throw away the moral values as one throws away the pit of a
date."
Mobenar, a member of the previous French Parliament noted:
"There are two and a half million French girls now who
cannot find a husband, if we assume that every French young man will
marry only one woman. I frankly declare what I truly believe is that a
woman will not enjoy a healthy life unless she becomes a mother. I
believe that any law which passes a judgment that such a big number of
the members of a society should live opposing, contradicting and
neglecting to fulfill the natural laws of man on the Earth is but a
cruel and savage law that contradicts the simplest meaning of justice
and fairness."
In 1959, the United Nations published a special publication stating:
"This publication has proven, by numbers and statistics, that the
entire world is now facing a growing problem of illegitimate children,
as opposed to legitimate children. The number of illegitimate children
has increased 60% in some countries. In Panama, for instance, the
percentage of illegitimate births soared to 75% of the total number of
births in the country. This means that three out of every four children
are illegitimate, born outside of wedlock. The highest percentage of
illegitimate births is stated to be in Latin America."
At the same time, the publication proves and indicates
that the number of illegitimate births in the Islamic world is almost
nil (in comparison with other countries). The editor of the publication
goes on to say that Islamic countries are protected against such
social problems and disease due to the fact that the people practice
Polygyny.
