I love you for the sake of Allah

Asalamu Alikum 

Love of Allah comes from the heart it isnt words that are spoken .... when dealing with polygyny and other wives we should truly mean when we say i love you for Allahs sake .. but the reality is alot dont it is words they say to please their husband but their hearts dont mean those words ....

Could you imagine the hasant their is in saying these words ..it means that you love Allah first and for his sake you will love everything around you even if you dont like it

True love for Allah can melt the heart in ways beyond our imaginations ..a feeling of warmth can take over because with this love comes a true connection with Allah

Look at this hadith

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah will say on the Day of Resurrection: 'Where are those who love one another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a day when there is no shade but My shade.'" [Bukhari (also by Malik).]


How blessed would you be to have the shade of Allah over you
and to know that this is because you truly loved for his sake ... you didnt do it because you were told to my other or because you wanted something in return something that would be of no benefit to you later down the road


I truly love you all for the sake of Allah and when i'm blessed with my cowife .. i will truly love her too not because she is married to our husband but because she is my sister in islam and i want for her what i want for my self ...ALLAHS LOVE

Jealousy ..no room for it

Asalamu Alikum 

Yes ladies we are better than this ..Jealousy really has no part in our heart ..and when i say that i mean the type that causes major problems ....we know the hadith that speak about jealousy of a husband to his wife ..well their should be the same for a wife to her husband but within limits ...also remember the hadith about Allah being jealousy of us

In Sahih Bukhari, Book 62, (Chapter on Nikah), Chapter 30 it says:

CHAPTER 30: The Ghira (i.e., honour, prestige or self-respect)

[Sa'd ibn ubaada said: "If i saw a man with my wife I would strike him with the sharp edge of the sword." The prophet (SAW) said (to his companions); "Are you ashtonished by Sa'd's (Ghira) sense of honour? (By Allaah) I have a greater sense of Ghira than he has, and Allaah has still more greater sense of Ghira than I have."]

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Masud:

The Prophet, said, "There is none having a greater sense of Ghira than Allah. And for that He has forbidden the doing of evil actions (illegal sexual intercourse etc.) There is none who likes to be praised more than Allah does." [B150]

So within limits it is good ..but not to allow it take over your lives to the point that it makes you crazy ... this is one of the things that the shaytan will take advantage of  he loves when we let ourselves go to the extreme and get out of control ..because this bad jealousy is ugly and in turn it makes you look ugly ...

We want to always look good and than start with control and i know ladies we can do that as always this comes down to your belief in Allah and your trust too

Polygyny ..is it really the problem

Asalamu Alikum

I was having thoughts the other day and was wondering to myself ..do we women ..wives really have a problem with polygyny for us to behave the way they do or is it a way to control the man ..knowing that some men are weak and all the want is quietness so they will do anything to keep the piece even if it means wives getting hurt ... i think if the man shows that he is the man these women wouldnt have the chance to play him ...

Now what i mean by men being week it is after they marry and have 2..3..4 wifes are making trouble and constant complaining to him and rather than deal with it he gives in ...which means that yes one or more of the wives get hurt 

Men who want polygyny need to learn and know that they are the man of the house and wither every woman agrees or not we all want that alpha male the one that takes control ...when things get out of control he needs to take a stand and show his wives who indeed is the boss ...because if not it only take a small opening of weakness and the women will jump on it

What it all boils down to is Allah made man the way he is wither we like it or not and he made women the way they are wither we like it or not ... placing trust in Allah before everything else will always get you by and these mind games we like to play with our men will seem so trivial ..and the love Allah will take over and with this love the love or our husband  will become stronger too

Questions ... questions ...or stay slient

Asalamu alikum

When that time comes and the man is deciding after meeting a potential wife wither he will go ahead ... he comes to his wife and talks to her he tells her that he found someone and is interested in her straight away the wife has a million of question to ask and her mind starts to ramble ... is this good for her or not is it better to stay silent ... she decides to just ask the simple question like name... age just the question to give her an idea of who this sister is

After this they get on with life .. but the shayatn is starting his job and placing so many more questions their .. questions that at the moment their isnt answers but he places them their knowing that if you keep asking them your husband may get annoyed ...so what to do

you need to seek refuge in Allah from the shyatan and not let his whispers get to you because the reality is it's not your problem ... the husband is the one that needs to deal with this as long as your right are been given and he isnt doing anything haram then it's best to stay silent

Just make dua that Allah gives the right person to help your family grow and prosper and that she will be a benefit  to you all .... and keep yourself to yourself like that your husband is happy and it make life easy for all

Are we made of stone or just human

Asalamu alikum

So are we made of stone or just human ... even the strongest of us have a moment or 2 were we show that we arent made of stone and that in fact we are human ... i actually believe that these moment are good as it is a reminder that we need to focus more on our deen and know this life maybe just maybe we have slipped in our worship and with this we have allowed the waswas of the shyatan to place things their that rent true 

It is also good for our husbands to know this too as when we show ourselves being strong all the time and even tho we have those days we have to fight ourselves to not allow it to show  ..they seem to forget ans then it takes them by surprise so it is good they see us like that but not to the stage that it causes problems 

Life is hard in general and fighting the waswas of shaytan can become a little too much but always believing that Allah is their for us and will show us the right way to go helps us to get pass those days and also having a husband who will understand those days and help you to get through it is also a blessing but this can only come when we surrender ourselves to Allah him self and let him do what e knows best

Remember ladies we are just human but dont allow that to over take us

Time is coming

The time is coming soon again ... and this time i'm more relaxed than ever .. i dont stress over him and what he is doing or what will happen ... i believe in him that he knows what he is doing ..i also know that Allah is their every step of the way ... the last few were big lesson and i learned so much from them and they were big tests that i hope i have past 

The more relaxed i become the more i focus on myself  and see myself doing things i may not have done before ... i'm making plans for the future which has nothing to do with him but Allah ... i want to be closer to Allah and to have Allah be close to me and i say Alhamdu lilah for polygyny

Chin up ladies we can all do this and Allah knows this  we are stronger than we think and we need to push the shyatan away from us all

Same old same old

Asalamu alikum

It has been a while and nothing really to report ... hubby is still looking for another wife but also believe that Allah will give to him when and if he decides to ... we joke alot about it these days as their isnt any point in letting yourself going crazy and wondering when it will all happen 

i have indeed been blessed with many good sister and to the point i have been able to help in their problem with polygyny ... nobody ever said it was easy but i do believe that it depends on your relationship with Allah and those you connect yourself with ...if ppl are around you reminding you of Allah then the shyatan cant get himself in their 

Their are days that pass and i sometimes think that it will never come to pass and then their are days i think maybe soon ..but one thing i dont do is allow it to take over my life and my thoughts ..... i fill those spaces with remembrance of Allah  and as long as i do that Allah will be their for me no matter what

My hopes and dreams

Asalamu Alikum 

My hopes and dreams of having a co wife 

I hope and pray that one day that you will be here that you will bless the lives of all of us in this family and that we will becomes as one .... i hope that our lives can be lived as one and that we will have all the same goals in life that will help us reach jannah and in doing so that we will please Allah first and fore most and then our husband

It saddens me to know you arent here yet but i know that Allah plans first and what he has in store for us all will be beautiful ... i hope and pray that we will be able to reach a love that will please Allah and also please our husband and that love will blossom over time and our family will be the better because of it 

I know i ask for alot but why not i truly believe that Allah will bless me with the prefect co one day and that we will be able to fight the shyatan at times when he tries to place trouble between us all

Even if Allahs plan isnt for us to be like this i do hope and pray that we will follow the laws of Allah and be the best Muslimahs we can be and at the same time be good to one another

I wait patiently for this day And i will continue to make dua that it wont be too long before i get to know you

IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO WISH THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE ALL BLESS WITH THE BEST OF THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT

Why is polygyny always seen in the bad way

Asalamu alikum 

So why is it that polygyny is always seen in a bad way ...why do we make more of it than it should be ... if indeed we believe in Allah and the prophet saws and we follow the ways of the salaf ... then why is polygyny spoken of badly and why is it not practiced the way need be

Polygyny is often see in a bad way because of the way we go about it ... on one hand you have men wanting this And believe me ALL MEN want polygyny just they dont go about it for one reason or another and if you believe that your man isnt one of them then you need to seek3Allahs help because EVERY MAN does ...anyway the way men go about searching for the next wife doesnt help as alot of men will do this in serect and even once married cant bring themselves to tell their wife/wives  and because of this polygyny is seen in the wrong way 

Also one of the other reasons are because men arent being men they Allow their wives to rule what is done and how ...this cant be a man needs to take control of his home as this is his responsibility and he will be held accountable for his family as well as himself on the day of judgement  when women are let go and allowed to take charge their emotions always get the better of them and this is when the shyatan comes and gets involved ..he places ideas their that arent really their but makes you feel that it is something bigger than it actually is ... so for this reason men need to take the control back and he needs to prove that he is indeed a man and can lead his family to jannah

We also have the idea of polygyny being used as a way to break families up which isnt true ... what is written for each marriage is in fact that it is written ... in coming wives are not their to destroy a family she is their as Allah wrote for her to be their and the man she married is who she was intended to marry the fact is that he is also married to another .... until we allow our hearts and mind to believe in true qadar of Allah then we will always use the blame game and never see the truth behind it all 

 

Following the Sunnah

Asalamu alikum

Subhan Allah i think sometimes as human we tend to try to convince ourselves we can do it or take on anything given to us and in reality sometimes we can ... but i do believe that the best way to take on everything Allah has planned for us is to believe in him with our whole heart and to believe in the prophet (saws) too

Polygyny is a sunnah and it isnt fard but by followig the sunnah in the best manner we can it will lead us to a place better than we can ever imagine ... but in order to do this we must be true to ourselves and to Allah and ask Allah to guide us and help us in this time when we enter polygyny and with the blessings of Allah he will make is easy or a little easier on us 

The best way to go about this is to teach ourselves to submit to Allah and learn from the books he has made possible for us to learn from and study these to the point of finding that your heart is at ease even tho that once in polygyny it can be much harder than you thought but Allah does know best and he knows what we dont know and as long as you try to implement what he has told us

Just remember their are big rewards for everyone that enters polygyny and you may no see it in ths life but iN shaa Allah you will in the next life

SO TRUST IN ALLAH